Date:
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Time: 5:59 AM
Hello,
Omigosh can't believe I am such a bad blog owner, I like never post for a month... aiyo then now got new blog and stuff... lols
Anyway 2dae nth much to talk about so I'll tell lame jokes
1.Have you ever heard the ocean joke?
Ans: Its too deep for you
2.When does 1+1= 3
Ans: When you count wrongly
3.What do you call an Indian driving a plane
Ans:A pilot you racist
4.One day a blonde was walking past a field and saw another
blonde rowing a boat in the field and she said," Its blondes
like you thatruin the reputation of blondes." Then the other
blonde said if I could swim I would come over and punch you.
5.A woman walks into an ice cream parlor and ask the man at the counter for two scoops of chocolate.
The man replies” I’m sorry ma’am we’re all out of chocolate”
“Oh I’m sorry,” the woman replies, “May I have two pints of chocolate?”
The bewildered man replies “We are all out of chocolate….......”
“Oh excuse me, ” the woman replies blushing, “How about two gallons?”
The man, now at wit’s end says “Look, can you spell the v-a-n in vanilla?”
“Sure,” she replies, “V-A-N.”
“Now,” he continues, “Can you spell the S-T-R-A-W in strawberry?”
“Of course, S-T-R-A-W.” she responds.
“Can you spell the F-U-C-K in chocolate?”
“But sir, there is no fuck in chocolate!”
“THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THIS WHOLE TIME!”
6.Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as the walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points at his foot and says, “Vietnam, 1969.” The other hooks his thumb behind him and says, “Dog shit, 20 feet back.”
7.Whats black, white, blue, yellow, pink, orange, violet and red all over?
Ans:A penguin!
8.One day a blonde guy, brown guy, and red haired guy were base jumping.They each got to wish what they wanted to be so the blonde jumps off the cliff and says,” I want to be a falcon”, so he turns into a falcon and fly’s away. The brown jumps off the cliff and says,” I want to be a eagle”, he turns into an eagle and fly’s away. The red runs and trips over a rock and says,”shit”, so he turns into shit and splats on the ground.
9.One happy day in elementary school, the day after the yankee’s lost to the red sox in the playoffs, A teacher decided to talk about her stupification the previous day out of shock.
Teacher: Hello class
The Entire Class: Hello Mrs. White!!!
Teacher: Ok class I want to start today off by asking what everyone’s favorite baseball team is…
The Entire Class: THE YANKEE’S!!!
A single innocent girl: The Boston Red Sox!
The teacher is amazed by this single student who doesn’t follow what everyone else is saying…
Teacher asks: Why do you like the Red Sox?
Innocent girl: because my mommie and daddie do!
Teacher: Well hon, if you make all of your decsions based on what your parents think you’ll never be independant!
Innocent girl: NUH UHHHH!!!
Teacher: Yes, you will, say if you mom was a slut and your dad was a moron what would that make you?
The innocent girl smirks devilishly and says: A yankee fan!
10.
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, ‘How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?’
The salesperson answers, ‘Which one do you mean, Sir?
We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95’.
The amazed father asks: ‘It’s what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?’
The annoyed salesperson roll s her eyes, sighs, and answers: ‘Sir…, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Computer, one of Ken’s Fr iends, and a key chain made with Ken’s balls.
Anyway need to prepare for Chinese test lerhs bye bye ( :
